Behaloscha: Difficulty of Transition

Good Shabbos!

Thank you to Rabbi Weissman for inviting me, to the board and to the entire community. Both Sarah and I have felt the extremely warm welcome that the Plainview community is known for. I’ve already met a number of you, but we – speaking for both Sarah and myself – would love to meet everyone here. We will do our best to come and find you, but if we don’t get around to everyone, please come and introduce yourselves.

Behaloscha is one of the most troubling Parshiyot in the Torah. It is the climactic moment in which the way the Jews act flips from positive to negative. Since Shemot the Jews have been reaching new spiritual highs. They were taken from Egypt, marched through the splitting on of the sea, and accepted the Torah on Har Sinai with a wonderous spectacle of fire and lighting. In this weeks Parsha, we have the story of Pesach Sheni where some Jews were impure and therefore could not do Pesach, and asked to have a replacement day so they could also have the same spiritual high. But as the Jews prepare to enter the land of – something detrimental happens. The Jews start complaining. For the rest of Bamidbar we have complaint after complaint and the question is what happened. What changed? How are we supposed to look at the Jews – the same ones who went through the greatest miracles of all times – who are now complaining about the Ma’an – the heavenly bread, lack of meat and water?

The Torah introduces the topic of the complaints of the Jews by describing them as “misonenim.” The simple translation that your chumash will have is “complainers.” However, this word is rarely used elsewhere in the Tanach which makes it very hard to translate. The classical commentators all try to give an exact translation of the word:

·       Rashi explains misonen – singular of misonenim – as similar to “misLonen’, which would mean a baseless complaint.

·       Ibn Ezra feels that the word misonen is similar to an ‘ovon’ – a spiritual misdeed – in which case the aleph and ayin are exchanged.

However, interpretation of the Kli Yakar is extremely powerful and sheds light on the way we need to perceive change. He translates the word ‘misonenim’ as related to the word ‘onen’, which is a person who has just heard about the death of an immediate relative. The Jews were ‘mourning’ the fact that they were now restricted from many previously acceptable activities now that they had received the Torah. They felt constricted by all the commandments and in this overwhelmed mindset produced all these complaints.

However, according to the Kli Yakar, why would the Torah not use the term ‘aveil’ instead of ‘onen’?

I heard a beautiful explanation from Rabbi Ya’akov Horowitz. There is a major difference between an aveil and an onen. The avel is a person during the shiva period. They need to sit on the floor and mourn their loss. However, the aveilus period only begins after the burial, when the news has already been largely processed by the mourners. The onen, on the other hand, is the person who just heard the news and has had no time to process yet. They are in complete shock and mental devastation. In Rav Soloveichik’s words, they are so mentally disctracted that they are like a minor and therefore patur from all mitzvot. This person has no emotional ability to do mitzvot which is why the Torah makes him patur.

The Jews went from being slaves in Egypt – the lowest place in terms of morality and spirituality – to the greatest spiritual heights at the foot of Har Sinai in only a few weeks. There was no time for them to process this change.

It is in this parsha that they start feeling the shock of what happened – and so to say “the rubber meets the road”. They reacted to the change in and understandably emotionally overwhelmed way. This is why the Torah prefaces all the stories of the complaints with “Vayehi ha’om kemisonenim” The nation was similar to onenim. Just as a mourner is in a state of shock by the sudden death of a loved one, so too, the Jews in the desert were stunned by their meteoric rise from penniless slaves to a prosperous group of noble men and women who were given the sacred mission of becoming Hashem’s Chosen People.

Hashem is telling us that while the Jews did not act proper by complaining, we need to put the stories into perspective by realizing shock that they went through – they were onenim.

In a similar vein, a study was recently conducted on lottery winners – five and ten years after they had won million-dollar-plus jackpots – and a shocking percentage of the people reported that their lives had disintegrated. It happened too quickly, they said, and they simply were not prepared to deal with their great fortune. It was like a thirsty person drinking from a fire hydrant with the water running full force.

While the grandeur of the Jews leaving Egypt was incredible and we celebrate it every Pesach, this parsha shows us that the Jews were not truly ready for such a fast transition. It is for that reason they would not be the generation that conquered the land of Israel. It would be their children who grew up with the Torah and the restrictions and obligations that would be better suited to enter the land of Israel.

Transition is difficult. This can be from different stages of child development to taking on new levels of Torah observance. The Torah is telling us the importance of working on ourselves step by step. Taking on too much or transitioning to quickly in usually unsustainable.

I hear that this week is celebrating the recent school graduates. Mazal Tov on such an amazing milestone and I wish you success in your continued journeys. As you continue your journey, remember, you are not expected to become perfect overnight or to do things as fast as possible. It is about absorbing everything at the right pace.

David Hamelech said this very nicely in Mishlei

ה֭וֹן מֵהֶ֣בֶל יִמְעָ֑ט וְקֹבֵ֖ץ עַל־יָ֣ד יַרְבֶּֽה׃

“He who takes much at once will lose it all, but if you collect bit by bit it will grow.”

Good Shabbos.

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