Thesis: We have an obligation to sympathize with all suffering – even
deserved punishment.
Question: Why would the Torah want us to daven for the metzorah
when they deserved their punishment?
Answer: Our view of punishment should be that it is needed, but we also
need to feel bad for the suffering the perpetrator is experiencing.
Two chassidim pass away and go to
heaven. As they approach the pearly white gates of heaven, they notice
something odd – the doors are closed. There is a big sign that says “Closed for
the night. Reopening tomorrow at 9AM. Please take the escalators down in the
meantime.”
The two chassidim were confused – as
this was not what they were expecting – but nonetheless take the escalator
down. As they descended, everything became darker and gloomy. They started to
see other people crying and suffering, and they felt a deep uncomfortable
sensation. The Beslov chassid had enough and called out to Rav Nachman.
“Rav Nachman, I have been a true
chassid my whole life. I learned Likutei MoHaran every day and went to Uman for
Rosh HaShannah every year. I’m suffering here, please help!”
Between the slats of the gates, he
could see Rav Nachman peek through.
“Of course my talmid. Come under my
bekkishah so I can slip you past the gate.”
Having seen that unfold, the Chabbad
Chassid decided to give it a try as well.
“Rebbi, I have been a good chassid my
whole life. I learned Tanya every day and put tefillin on thousands of people.
There are so many people alone and suffering here. Please help me!”
The Rebbi peaked his head through
the gate. First he had an inquisitive look, but then it broke out into a smile.
“You said there are people alone and
suffering?”
“Yes! Please help!”
“Excellent! Open a Chabbad House!”
While this joke is quite funny,
there is a deep seeded truth in what the Rebbi told the Chabbad Chassid.
In Parshas Tazriyah-Metzorah, we are
introduced to the Metzorah – the leper. He is someone who spoke lashon harah
about someone else and is being punished with a white affliction on his
skin that makes him impure. After the Kohen determines that he truly has tzara’at,
he is required shave his head and sit outside the camp and should “Tameh,
Tameh”.
וְטָמֵ֥א ׀ טָמֵ֖א
יִקְרָֽא
and that person shall call out,
“Impure! Impure!”
The Gemara in Moed Kattan 5a asks
why the Torah uses the double language, and answers that it is to teach (1) he
is required to inform others he is tameh, and (2) to notify the public
of his affliction so that they may pray for him.
The first explanation is understandable.
He is tameh and the last thing we want is for him to impurify all the tahor
people walking around. The Torah therefore requires him to inform people of his
status. However, the second reason is quite puzzling – to ensure others will daven
for him?! This person spoke lashon harah about someone else, he may have
ruined their life and posibly lost them their social life, and now we are
supposed to have pity on him? This person got exactly what they deserved and is
completely guilty! Why should the Torah want us to daven for him?!
I believe the answer lies in how we
see punishment and people in general. Sadly, I think the way I just described
the punishment for the Metzorah is the way most people view punishment. Why
should I feel bad since the person deserved it? There is a sense of gloating
over the suffering of the perpetrator. Watching him suffer brings a sense of
joy to the onlooker. This is not just true with tzaras, but with modern
punishments as well. Society tends to find a sense of happiness in locking and
punishing perpetrators – it is a natural human instinct to want to feel the
sense of justice. It is called Schadenfreude.
Schadenfreude is the little spark of joy people naturally have when they see
someone else suffer in a way they deserve. It what makes the classic “failure”
videos on YouTube – of people falling while skateboarding or landing wrong when
doing a crazy trick – so popular. It is a natural coping method for the body
when they see another person’s trauma. Modern psychological research, however,
has shown that this is a very dangerous method of coping since finding joy in
other people’s moments of pain results in much lower empathy and emotional
intelligence.
It is for this precise reason the
Torah provides us with an opposite message. Punishments are extremely important
for societies to function, and perpetrators need to suffer to learn their
lesson, however, we should not find joy in seeing that suffering. Rather, it is
our job to recognize the need to the punishment but feel and understand the
pain the punishment is causing them. By davening for the person, we are not
only avoiding Schadenfreude and the emotional dilution it creates but are
building our emotional awareness of how the person is suffering.
The difference between the two
approaches is that the first method removes humanity from the person and boils
them down to just the single action that caused them to deserve punishment. It
ignores all the good facets they may have since the single sin overshadows
their humanity. It is therefore fine to find joy in the downfall of evil. The
second approach recognizes the person’s sin and gravity but keeps in mind that
they are still human and deserve sympathy.
If this is the way we need to treat
the metzorah – someone who is guilty of slander – how much more so we
need to look out and pray for the people suffering around us.
It is for this reason that I think
back to the story of the Rebbi and chassid. The Rebbi makes an important point
with the role each individual needs to play in the community. It is easy to
ignore and avoid the pain and troubles of people around us. However, the Torah
tells us that it is not enough to ignore the metzorah – you need to
actively pray for him. Similarly, we cannot ignore the people around us who are
in need and we need to make sure to help them. We must help them since it is
how we make sure we remain emotionally in-tune with others.
In our society, especially with the
advance of video-shorts, we are spending more time as a whole watching others
in pain and criminalizing people based on single actions. We are quickly
developing a society that is not emotionally in tune. This week’s parsha can
provide a solution – find people in need and help them. This can be through a
food shelf or tomchei Shabbos, or davening and visiting sick community members.
Finding ways to sympathize with people who are in a difficult place is the way
we grow stronger emotionally. It is the reason the Torah wants us to daven and
feel for even the criminals that are suffering in our communities.