Vayishlach 2022: Ya’akov’s Name – How to Overcome Internal Struggles

Thesis: Overcoming internal struggles can feel painful, it is still a source of personal blessing.

Question: Why did the angel ask Ya’akov for his name.

           Just picture this scene. A group of hit men are sent to go beat up poor old Nicholas. They know where he works but not what he looks like. They walk into the office and start asking around for a Nicholas. They finally find him and beat him up. When they finish the mob-boss leans over and asks, do you spell your name with or without the “H”.

           The story is funny, but also quite ridiculous. It seems obvious that any hit job would confirm the right person before they carry it out, instead of afterwards. However, that seems to be exactly what happens in this week’s parsha.

Ya’akov and his family reach the Yabrok river and his family crosses, but Ya’akov remains on the other bank. Chazal tell us he was collecting some jugs he had forgotten when he encounters an angel that is sent to fight with him. They struggle all night in a heated UFC-styled match. As the fight finishes, the angel asks him, “what is your name?”. What kind of question is that? If the angel was sent to attack Ya’akov, why is he confirming the victim of his hit-job afterwards?! They had been fighting all night and this is when he decides to identify the target? It seems about as crazy as the story I just told you.

           I think the answer lies in a parallel between this story and one that takes place 20 years earlier. 20 years before, we have a very similar situation, except that Ya’akov does not respond in nearly the same way.

           Ya’akov wants the blessings from his father Yitchok, and he is dead-set on getting them. However, in order to do so, he decides to deceive his father by lying and pretending to be his brother, Esav. Let me point out some parallels:

In the story with his father, Yitzchok, Ya’akov starts the conversation by asking his father for the blessings. In the story with the angel in this week’s parsha, Ya’akov also starts by asking for a blessing.

           Yitzchok’s response is to ask who he is, to which Ya’akov responds “Esav”. Yitzchok tries to confirm again, and receives a similar response. In our story, the angel asks Ya’akov what is your name? However, this time Ya’akov responds by saying “Ya’akov”. He now identifies with his own name.

           I would like to suggest that the angel was not asking Ya’akov to identify himself – the angel knew he had the right guy – but he wanted Ya’akov to see if he knew who he was himself. It is an express flashback for Ya’akov to his past to see if he has changed and learned to avoid lying and being direct with his needs.

           Ya’akov had been away from home for years. He is now about to face Esav and the consequences of the past that he was able to kick down the road for the past 20 years. His struggle with the angel is symbolic as a struggle with himself – who is Ya’akov? Is he the same person he was 20 years ago – the man who could not face his father and tell him the truth. The man who is called Ya’akov because “ya’akveni zeh pa’amayim” – he tricked Esav twice. He may have had good reason for taking the bechor  and blessings – but the methods were sly. OR is he now a new Ya’akov that can stand up for what he believes to be right. Before the fight finished, the angel finally kicks Ya’akov in the thigh to symbolize that it is time he stops running from his identity and confront the problem at hand. He needs to address that he has an internal weakness and evaluate if he is now able to overcome it.

The fight is at night since it is dark and filled with confusion, but as the morning arises – Ya’akov realizes who he is. Ya’akov asks the angel for a blessing. The angel then asks his, “who are you?” – meaning which type of Ya’akov am I looking at? Ya’akov responds, the one that is different and able to stand up for himself. Ya’akov realized his internal weakness but has overcome the internal challenge.

           It is at this point the angel calls him Yisroel. He who fights with God and prevails. He does not win, but remains in the fight. While he leaves the fight with a blessing, he also leaves with a wound.

           We all have our Yabrok rivers and fights with our angels. This can be addictions, loss, sorrow – parts of our lives that are painful and we would much rather ignore and address tomorrow. Everyone has situations in their lives that are difficult and need fixing, but we just keep kicking the can down the road. Ya’akov kicked his can for 20 years!

It is these struggles that are the hardest to overcome since we don’t even know where we are fighting. Just like Ya’akov fighting at night – it is not always easy to see where we should go or what the outcome should be. However, we see from Ya’akov that there will come a morning when things become clear and we overcome the struggle. When we can finally cross our Yarkon river, we may have a wound, but we will also be filled with blessing.

           As we approach Channukah, I think the same message can be seen through the holiday. The same medrish highlights that the jugs Ya’akov was trying to collect on the bank of the river were the same ones that cause the mirachle of the channukah candled to burn for 8 nights.

           At first this sounds as if the medrish found 2 locations where jugs are used and just called them the same. However, I think the medrish is highlighting a deeper idea. The struggle that Ya’akov went through and the struggle the Chashmonayim went through were the same. The Chashmonayim were Jews that had to discover their inner identity. Greek culture was very appealing and easy to identify with. However, they went through a struggle – both internally and on the battle field – to define the type of Jews they wanted to be.

           We all have our Yabrok rivers. Channukah is 2 weeks away. When we light the candles this year, think about the inner struggles you face and realize that the morning will come at some point and the struggle will be a source of blessing.