Let’s be frank. We’ve been here many, many times – myself included.
The Rabbi gets up right before ne’ila and talks about how the gates are
about to close. Well, there’s good news. This year they aren’t closing – they
are about to open.
The classic paradigm for ne’ila is that the gates of
heaven about to shutter and we need to slip our last few prayers through the
crack right before the doors close. For some this is powerful and brings out
the purest emotions. However, for some it makes Hashem seem distant and far
away. I’d like to introduce a new way of looking at ne’ila – one that
will fundamentally change the way you will daven.
Shir Ha’shirim is the great courtship between a man and a
woman. It tells the story of Hashem as the man and the Jews as the woman –
trying to find each other throughout history. It is an emotional story with the
ups and downs, rejections and acceptances of any relationship. However, in
chapter 5, the woman is sleeping, and the male is knocking on the door begging
for her to open up.
אֲנִ֥י יְשֵׁנָ֖ה וְלִבִּ֣י עֵ֑ר
ק֣וֹל ׀ דּוֹדִ֣י דוֹפֵ֗ק פִּתְחִי־לִ֞י
However, she is lazy. I put on my
pajamas, will I get dressed again? I washed my feet will I get them dirty
again?
However, her heart is stirred and she decided to get up.
קַ֥מְתִּֽי אֲנִ֖י לִפְתֹּ֣חַ
לְדוֹדִ֑י וְיָדַ֣י נָֽטְפוּ־מ֗וֹר וְאֶצְבְּעֹתַי֙ מ֣וֹר עֹבֵ֔ר עַ֖ל כַּפּ֥וֹת
הַמַּנְעֽוּל׃
I rose to let in my beloved;
My hands dripped myrrh—
My fingers, flowing myrrh—
Upon the handles of the bolt.
Rabbeinu Bechayeh quotes a medrish that understands
this passuk in a beautiful way. It is about Yom Kippur. “קַ֥מְתִּֽי אֲנִ֖י לִפְתֹּ֣חַ
לְדוֹדִ֑י” is Shacharis, “וְיָדַ֣י נָֽטְפוּ־מ֗וֹר” is
mussaf, “וְאֶצְבְּעֹתַי֙
מ֣וֹר” is mincha, and “עַ֖ל כַּפּ֥וֹת הַמַּנְעֽוּל” is
ne’ilah.
Yom Kippur is a slow process of the Jews trying to respond to
Hashem’s call and allow him in. We spend the entire day trying to find a way to
get out of the bed and build the relationship, but it is now that we have the
chance to open the door.
Unlike the traditional explanation, the doors are not the
doors to heaven, but the doors to our heart. It is no longer about if Hashem
will or won’t accept our prayers. We are not standing on earth powerless,
hoping our prayers will make it through the slip in the gate, but WE are
EMpowered to open the doors and let Hashem in. Unlike the door to heaven, the
door to YOUR heart is the only door to which Hashem does not have a key. It is
up to us to let him in.
What makes to so much greater, is that Hashem is the one
stretching out his hand. He is not a ruthless king counting down the seconds to
the end of the appointment, but a loving partner waiting on the other side of
the door BEGGING for you to let him in. We are the ones who are sitting around deciding
if it is worth it for him to come in – He wants to, but do we? Do we want to
start a new year with him inside? Are we ready to finally do it?
We’ve been davening all day. Hashem is banging at the
door – it is time for ne’ilah. It is time for us to take the key that
only we have, open the door, and let him in.